Day Nineteen
Nineteen days or two weeks and one day since Ryan had surgery on his brain. It feels like this nightmare that we cannot wake up from. I want to be OK, I want to feel light and easy going; not a care in the world. I envy my young children that don't understand or feel this weight. I am falling behind. I know I am not doing all that I need to. I get emails from school teachers concerning my child/ren not doing this or that and its so hard to have the drive to even care. I know that is wrong, I just feel like a fish out of water gasping for breath. And home reading or projects feel like a waste of effort. I need to find a way to be better. A way to fill my lungs and go on. But how? I have had so much help with my children, entertaining them and driving them around. Have I forgotten how to do this or has my brain just suffered a short and I am having a hard time catching up, I hope I can get it together soon. I have been beyond overwhelmed with the kindness of others. People who real