Day Thirty-Nine
Today I felt actual happiness, most days I fake it or do my best to compartmentalize it all. But not today, today I got news that we were approved for Medicaid! I cried when we got the news because our other insurance ends on the 31st of this month and I was feeling so stressed about it. Today Ryan had his 10th treatment of radiation and chemo. I am impressed with how well he seems to be doing and although he has hard times, he just pushes through and isn't giving up. Although I felt happy for a few minutes today I still feel the weight of it all, I know bills will start rolling in soon. I know Ryan isn't going to feel 'better' for a long time if ever. His incision hasn't been able to fully heal and he has some numb spots on his head now and because of the radiation his body doesn't have anything to fight the pain and heal. I have been thinking about how to really explain how I feel, I have been blown away by the kindness of others and the willingness to reac