Day Fifteen

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 Its incredible how much can change is just over 2 weeks time. It feels like the push and pull of the ocean, sometimes the ocean is scary with so much you cannot see and other times its soothing as you listen to the sound of the waves. 

There are things we know: we know we will get time, we know we have treatment options, we know Ryan is strong and fighting, we know others love us, we know we aren't alone, we know this is hard, we know its expensive, we know its worth it. We don't know: How long we really have, How much it will take emotionally/physically/financially, How hard it will be on him, How much pain it will be, How our kids will cope and deal, and I am sure more I cannot seem to think up in this moment.

Just like the ocean analogy I can see the scary depths and I feel the peace. As my husband gets feeling better and can spend more time with the kids and show his love for us all I am deeply grateful, I cannot help but see the unknown depths in front of us. I don't know why I feel so Nautical today, maybe Its from the sound of the ocean I have going in our bedroom to help Ryan sleep? Maybe its because I want a vacation. 

We have been told that his Chemo and Radiation treatments will begin on March 22nd. I am glad for some time before then to just be together. I am hopeful that we can defeat the odds and make it longer.  We have had offers to help us from day one, and we have been so grateful. I feel like there aren't words powerful enough to convey how thankful we are. Words are just words sometimes and I want to find a way to make them stronger to mean all that I feel, because Thank you feels like not enough.  

Today I feel at peace. Today I think we can do this. Today on day Fifteen I am back on track of having hope. Its crazy to go back and forth in my emotions and feelings, but hey I am a woman with crazy emotions I guess. lol. I am going to just enjoy this day, with my sweet husband. I am going to snuggle up to him and just be. Because today I can. Today is a good day. I hope if you are reading this you take a minute to just be. Just breathe and be content that you get today. XOXO

Comments

  1. Newbold NewsMarch 5, 2021 at 11:29 PM

    I'm happy to hear you feel peace. Day 15 is a good day.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Debbie WatsonMarch 6, 2021 at 3:33 PM

    I'm so happy that Ryan is feeling a little better and he is able to enjoy you and the kids. Keep your Spirits up and continue to Hope & Pray. We think about Ryan, you and the kids all the time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ShanellMarch 7, 2021 at 6:06 PM

      Thank you for your comment. We really appreciate the love and support.

      Delete

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