Day Fourteen

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What a busy day this has been. We began by seeing the radiologist and getting plans ready to begin radiation. We were happy to learn that his Glioblastoma has been downgraded from a 4 to a 3, this is huge news, this news gives us hope of a few more years. Its strange to think we went from planning a lifetime to thinking a year to now feeling super happy about 2 or 3! Perspective I suppose. 

Radiology went over a lot of information, but the take away was that we will begin treatment on the 22nd. 7 weeks on and a month off. We are hoping to make plans for that month. Everything feels so strange, like I am watching someone else's life play out. How quickly life can change. We went from feeling in control for the most part and just living our quiet life to a chaotic life filled with fear, unanswered questions, panic, stress, depression and need. 

Trying to figure out how to survive every day emotionally and physically is taxing for sure. Ryan is doing so much better, his speech and physical therapy is impressed with how he is doing. 

Ryan apologizes to me all the time for thing he has no control over. Today he asked me if I knew this would happen 15 years ago would I have chosen different? It took me no time at all to tell him that I wouldn't change anything for the life we have lived together. I have loved our life together, I love this man with my entire being. Its not that he is in my heart, he is my heart. 

Ryan and I met on valentines day of 2006, he was spending the night playing video games with his friends and I came to his house with my friend to wish happy birthday to his roommate, when I first met Ryan I was captivated by his smile and kindness, when we left his home my friend asked who I liked and I told her Ryan Byrd, minutes later her phone dinged and it was a text that said ' this is Ryan, I am smitten with your roommate, can I have her number?' He came to see me the next day and we talked and laughed all night he brought a friend with him in case I was crazy lol and his friend just slept on the floor. We spent every day possible together and after only 3 months we were engaged. I have only fallen in love with him more and more over time. 15 years have gone by and I still and forever choose him.


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