Day Thirty-Five

 Hello again world!  Ryan here once again.  I am back because the misses set the chrome book on my lap and told me i needed to write about how I feel.  I feel like I have a permanent scar that hurts in the 2/3 every moment that I am awake.  It can spike up to a 4/5 range.  Which is also pretty stinky linky.  I have tomorrow to do for my treatments and then I will be one day shy of my 2 weeks of treatment.  Treatments are a-ok.  I see bright purple when my eyes are closed and can smell burning in my left nostril constantly while I am getting zipped.  Constantly.  The smell goes away when they stop zipping me.  I do this for about 15 mins. and then am set to run for the hills

The hills is home.  Home is where I spend the vast majority of my time.  I eat breathe and sleep here.  Home is where I have a racing mind all through the night.  I coral my thoughts into just a few basic concepts.  These are ants or elephants.  There are usually a variety of ants and a variety of elephants.  There is one massive tree.  His name is Humongorf and he likes to party.  The last sentence in untrue.  Humongorf is funny so I will write using that as it's new name.  Humongorf needs elephants to wander inside of it to sleep for the night.  The elephants are fed tiny bits of food by the ants until they get sleepy and then shuffle on in to Humongorf.  Humongorf loves this and will allow me to sleep for 15 minutes all the way up to 1-2 hours.  I wake up and repeat the thinking until most of the night is gone and I am back to just lying next to the misses for an hour or two and the kids come in for their tablets.  I love my kids dearly.

Bridger hides away to play Fortnite.  He is extremely skilled at the game and wants me to partner up with him so we can wreck.  By wreck I mean that I chase him most of the time and we win.  He is actually really good.  He is also a big time gamer of many sorts but due to my head looking so nasty I will spare him the pains of sitting through a game with me until I am healed.

Addison is my little dancer.  She has some sass but never directs it at me.  It is usually directed towards Bridger.  He acts like their father and I hate it!  Addison dances a couple of times a week and their team kills it!  She is super smart at school and crushes her homework.  She has missed some work and is a machine at getting it all done immediately.

Brooklyn is next in line.  She is a little spitfire but can cry quite easily.  She is dancer number 2.  Her team dances a couple of times a week and they also kill it when it comes down to competition times.  She does very great in school.  Zero missed work that I am aware of.  She plays great with anyone that can make crazy covid time to play with her. 

Boston is a handsome little boy.  He makes his voice gravely but I remember him doing that even when he was a wee baby so I suppose it is perfectly normal.  He loves to hear himself talk and ask questions.  He will ask his mom questions and I will answer the second or third time.  He looks to me and I can tell that my answer was perfect but he will continue asking her until he gets an answer.  He is in preschool and is a spelling genius!

Ava is the tiny caboose on our family train and I think that she is the cutest.  She can do or say most anything with a wry smile and get an easy pass.  She is also a tiny dancer.  Her team is too tiny to compete but I love that she gets to dance.  She has been shaking her tiny bum along with her older sisters for a couple years now (she is 3)  She alternates school days in the same class as Boston.  I love my kids dearly.

Remember those you love.  Tell them several times a day forever because there might not be a tomorrow for you.  Use clear words.  Hug as often as works for you and your loved ones.  Hopefully you live a long and healthy life.  If you are tumor boy like me... you are playing with fire and it suckles too much.  Don't be a cancer child or anything else that might end you early.  Peace out!