Day Thirty -Six

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 I love when Ryan posts! I can try and try to explain his thinking but I really cannot convey how strange it sometimes comes out. lol

Today Ryan had his ninth treatment of radiation and chemotherapy! Only twenty one more to go, I cannot wait. He weighed in and is 4 pounds down this week and a total of 8 in the days since we started treatment. The Dr's are worried at how fast he is losing weight, and he is being prescribed some THC to help with this and his pain. I am looking forward to him being more willing to actually take something. Fingers crossed. 

My car is making crazy noises now, to be honest is has been making strange noises for sometime but today on the way home from radiation a new sound started. I am not surprised, with the kind of luck I have lately I am just grateful that the car didn't explode or something. knock on wood. 

I also found out today that our application for medicaid hasn't been worked on due to an internal glitch that when I submitted my paperwork 13 days ago our case worker was never notified.. insert eye roll here. I have been told I should hear back in 7 days.. so in 7 days I will report back hopefully my luck will have gotten a little better..fingers crossed, wish on a star and anything else that might help me out.

I feel so tired. I seem to carry stress in my back and I think its breaking. I can not find any relief anymore and now I just live in pain.. I guess Ryan and I can be in misery together. :) 

My kids are feeling things are different. Tonight I was asked "why wont Dad play with us anymore?" I felt my heart clench and I tried to explain he just isn't feeling well. I am sure for a child that explanation isn't good enough any more. Or as I am told all the time "that's boring" lol.

Tomorrow I hope we can relax a bit, not having to run any errands or take kids here or there, since I am not driving anywhere I am sure it will be decent weather! Your welcome Utah haha.

*I am working on having a blog of Questions and Answers with Ryan. If you have a question please leave it below and I will ask him and put what he says in that post. 

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