Day Thirty-Three

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 Today was an OK day. Nothing super terrible happened (knock on wood). 

The day began like normal getting kids ready for school and then heading to take Ryan to Radiation, we made good time and all went according to plan. We made it home and he took a nap, and I spent time with my brother Riley who came to help with my youngest two kids. It was nice, really nice.

We then went to another Dr. appointment this time to see his neurologist who said his incision looks good and they want to get another CT Scan to see how things are looking. 

A couple interesting thing to note was the Dr asked Ryan how he has been feeling and Ryan said " I feel like a paper airplane, at the beginning of the day I am at my highest but quickly I nose dive to the ground" I loved this analogy, because it is so true.  

Another interesting thing is that he said " I feel like a liar, people ask me how I am feeling and I always say 'i'm ok or doing good' but in all honesty I am never doing good. I always just feel terrible." we decided that he is a great actor for a minute or two when others are around. It was nice to have him recognize this, so I can feel less insane when he seems like he is doing well and then I am saying no he really isn't lol.

Now as I sit here I can hear him in the other room laughing as he plays Xbox it almost feels like a normal everyday night. I will cherish this feeling for a few minutes before I have to go bug him about getting his Chemo started for the night. For now I feel OK.

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