Day Twenty-Four

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 This will be a short post, my brain is feeling overused for this day. 

We drove back from St. George today, roads were much better and we made great time, so that was nice. I didn't sleep well and I can feel the stress and exhaustion catching up with me. We were able to get our kids home safely and get unpacked and settled.

Ryan went to bed almost instantly and I began going through paperwork.. so much paperwork. Ryan cannot work and I am seeing bills coming in and I am trying to get all the help possible so this doesn't bury us. We have had so much help and I cannot begin to express my gratitude enough, however we have a long way to go. 

Its hard for me to accept help, it has been that way for as long as i can remember. I can give all day and feel great but receiving isn't easy for me.  I know I need help, but Its so hard. Every time I get a card, a meal, money, treats, gift cards or whatever I feel like I need to give something back. Pay them back some how. Its like in that Office episode when Dwight picks up bagels and wants everyone to 'owe' him and Andy just cannot let it go and spends the whole episode returning the kindness. I am Andy i guess I really want to return all the favors and I know I cannot right now. If you have helped at all please know I am grateful. Thank you so much.

At a point when my kids were freaking out and I was trying to get things done today and my head was pounding I was about to explode... My brother Tyson and his wife Tori showed up to save the day. Feeding my kids and putting them to bed. Bless their souls. 

Then a little later my lovely friend Karina showed up to bring me the worlds best homemade rolls and cookies and Dr. Pepper Zero! This is what I needed and didn't realize it. This kindness reminded me that I have people that care for me too! Thank you so much! 

Tomorrow chemo and radiation begin... I'll be back on day 25

Comments

  1. Karena KrugerMarch 15, 2021 at 10:20 PM

    I wish there was more I could do for you but I’m happy to be your rolls/cookie dealer for now 😂. Most of all I’m grateful to be your friend. You don’t have to walk down this uncharted road alone. There are many people surrounding you as you go along to help you whenever you need us. Well there I go getting all sappy and stuff and making it weird 😉. Hopefully you’ll still want to be my friend after reading this but even if you don’t, I’ll still be your dealer/supplier of all things delicious ....you’ve been warned! 😁🤣😇🤪

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  2. Karena KrugerMarch 15, 2021 at 10:21 PM

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